Review and Release – Stop Trying to Do All the Things
One of the main reasons why we are so much more stressed nowadays than let’s say our grandparents were, is because we are taking on a lot more. We have families where each person is working a full-time job and possibly a side hustle as well to make ends meet financially. We have our kids in activities and we are driving them all over the place night after night. We have trained our brains to do all the things.
That leaves all the hard work of keeping house and raising a family, which needs to be done during “off” hours. Most of us no longer mentally clock out at the end of the workday. Instead, we take our work home and are reachable at all hours via text message or email. Add to that the stress of constant connectivity and social media creates and it’s no wonder we’re more stressed than ever.
First Things First
Seriously, I’m right there with you. We are all so concerned about what is happening on social media. We check facebook, instagram, and tik-tok 24/7. We need to know what everyone is doing and how they are doing it. Not realizing that social media place a huge part in our stress.
We are constantly comparing ourselves to what every other person is able to do and accomplish. What you don’t realize is, that mom you stalk on facebook doesn’t have her shit together any more than you do. That Family that does all those fun weekend trips or outings doesn’t have any more money than you do. Have you have heard the saying that “comparison is the thief of joy”?
I know you have. Do you know what happens when you compare your situation to someone else? You become stressed. Stressed because you are at your breaking point. You can’t keep up with your daily home tasks because you are to busy tending to your families needs. You become depressed trying to do all the things. When in reality the one thing you need to do- is focus on You!
Worry About Yourself
Worry about your happiness, how you can create a less stressful environment for you and our family. How can you make things easier for you. I know right now hasn’t been easy for anyone. We are all stuck in a depressed and stressed situation right now. Nobody knows what’s going to happen, how are lives are truly going to be affected, or what’s going to happen in a week or two.
This pandemic has added to the stress of so many families and I’m sure you have no idea how stressed out your best friend actually is. I bet she has locked herself in her car once or twice just to cry it out because she doesn’t want the world or social media to think any less of her or that she can’t handle it as good as Mrs. Jones down the street.
It’s time to do something about it. It’s time to stop trying to do all the things all the time and focus on reducing stress in your life. You need to start by reviewing everything you do in a given day. A great idea for this is to use a time log. All you need to do is keep a simple piece of paper or a small notebook with you at all times. Set an alert on your phone to go off every 30 minutes (during waking hours), and quickly jot down what you’re doing. Be brutally honest. No one else needs to see this log and you can burn it after you’re done. After a week of logging, you get a pretty good idea of where you spend your time and mental energy.
Yes, You Really Need To Do This
I’m sure you will look at this list and realize that you do a lot of useless tasks that can be cut down on. For instance, stop checking facebook for what Karen is up to this Friday night. Or how many activities she drove her kids to this week after using her superpowers to work a full 40 hours and kept her house spotless. It’s not real life.
Now comes the fun part. Look through your list of everything you wrote down and decide what you can let go of. What can you stop doing? Open up some time for yourself to exercise, meditate, or to take a nap so you can catch up on much-needed sleep. We all need that time to ourselves every day to refocus on what’s really important and what really needs to be done daily.
Next it’s time to review and release all those worries, questions, and “should-dos” that are stressing you out. Get out another sheet of paper or two and start to write down anything and everything on your mind. All the stuff you’ve been thinking about doing. All the stuff that’s been worrying you. Get it all out.
Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Gooooo
Walk away for a few hours and then come back to your list. Cross out as much as you can. Things that are out of your control and you decide to mentally release. Tasks that you feel like you should do, that you really don’t need to do. Then rewrite what’s left on two different lists. One will be things you can do, or have someone else do for you.
This will become your master to-do list for the next few months. The other is a list of worries or concerns. Notice how much smaller and shorter those lists are and how much lighter you feel just getting it all out of your head. Your brain will start to be a little more clear and you’ll be able to focus. Focus on the stuff that doesn’t create added stress to your life. Focus on the things that make you happy.
If you do one thing off your list that actually doesn’t create more stress, something that makes you feel good, something where you feel accomplished it will create a domino effect. You will start to see that you can do a lot of things in one day. You can do them without the added extra stress. You just need a plan. Follow that plan until it becomes routine. Once it becomes routine and you can fit all the things into your daily routine your stress will start to fade. You will feel happier. Hopefully even healthier!
Ask For Help
Last but not least, go burn that master brain dump list. Doesn’t it feel good?
If you don’t actually know where to start with your list because you are so stressed out and at rock-bottom, reach out. I’ll create you a list. I’ll give you that starting point. I’ll help you through it together. When you have someone that you can talk stressful situations out with who truly understands and won’t judge you (I’m looking at you Karen) it makes it a million times easier! Seriously, reach out. I’ll provide you with that blank list as a starting point. We will do this together.
